- Josie -


    I hate the pack runs, more because I can''t join in. It''s the only time I am reminded that I am notnovelbin


    like them.


    They can''t help it, they are following the gut instinct of their very being. Why should they change centuries of tradition just for one person. They shouldn''t and as much as I try, I try to not hold it against them.


    But no matter how much I try, it still hurts. The pain still ws at my chest of not being enough, of not beingplete.


    This cabin in the meadows was my go to ce during pack runs. They aren''t meant toe out


    to this part of the pack grounds, but I am not allowed to shoot...just in case I hit a wolf.


    Orders from the Alpha, Dad. In here, I am tucked away. Not a dirty little secret, but more...kept out of harm''s way and vice versa.


    Lobo is with me as I chase him around the cabin, music blearing out as I try to work off the


    frustration that was building within me.


    I was always frustrated during the pack runs, but this time it felt more intense...what happened in the storage cupboard, or almost happened, tortured my mind for the rest of the day.


    I change the music to the sound of calming, rxation tones as I take a deep breath in. Letting


    my body rx.


    I roll my head from side to side...trying to find that inner peace. Something I haven''t found since our guest arrived. He had a way of making me feel unbnced, not in control...almost...anxious.


    Closing my eyes I try to clear any thoughts but all I get are shbacks of him climbing off his bike earlier...how I wanted to go to him. An unexinable pull to him that I wanted to give into. I''ve never experienced that sensation before.


    I hear Lobo moving around the cabin, sniffing at the skirting boards until he stops at the door...and starts to growl in warning. For the most part, Lobo was an extremely friendly dog...but mainly only with


    me and Mum...even Dad. But any other males, he struggled with, he didn''t trust. He tolerates Maya but only because she is female and tries to buy his affection with dog biscuits she secretly passes him in the kitchen when she is over.


    I ignore him at first, it was night time and we were in the quiet meadows, a hot spot for nocturnal


    animals. But as his growl descends into a menancing bark, I start to take notice.


    Moving to my music yer, I turn the music down, letting Lobo have full ess to his canine hearing.


    The pack members know not to stray this far from the usual nned route, just in case.


    As I turn the music yer off, I hear howling in the distance. As expected...it was a full moon tonight but what I didn''t expect was Lobo to remain so persistent that he moves in front of me, to block me. His dog fangs on show, preparing to attack.


    I reach behind me, into my back waistband of my leggings... reaching for my gun. I was going against protocol but I was vulnerable, the rest of the pack in the other direction and me alone with Lobo, the gun was my only line of defence.


    Clicking the safety off, I aim the gun for the door, moving around Lobo and taking a step towards it. My trustedpanion bends his head down, his back arching and his ws pawing on the wooden floor as he prepares to leap...fuck...my adrenaline was pumping through my heart. My heart felt as if it would break free of my chest.


    I didn''t scare easily, but he was right...someone was outside.


    "Who''s there?" I demand, trying to hide the tremor in my voice. This is what I was trained for, this is what I am prepared for...but when it actually happens...


    The door slowly creaks open, and I take a step back, my gun rising at the intruder. Holding my


    breath I prepare to pull the trigger back, just breathe Josie...just imagine they are a target board.