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17kNovel > Eternal Sa?sāra: The Wanderer of Worlds > [90] You need to see a Psychologist!

[90] You need to see a Psychologist!

    [90] You need to see a Psychologist!


    <span style="font-weight:400">Chapter 90: You need to see a Psychologist!


    <span style="font-weight:400">—


    <span style="font-weight:400">Ai''s small hands held the white nket in front of her chest. Her grip on it shook as she stared down at the ground.


    <span style="font-weight:400">Mothers are gentle creatures toward their children. They are vulnerable, especially to their children''s criticism.


    <span style="font-weight:400">What I said to Ai was disheartening, she must be feeling more pain than what I felt from her attacks just earlier.


    <span style="font-weight:400">What she did was wrong, but I shouldn''t have said all that. I wouldn''t have, if not for my Venerable ego acting up.


    <span style="font-weight:400">While I don''t have multiple personality disorder in the traditional sense, the boundaries be blurred when influenced by an Icon from a past life. Since they grant me powers as well as the appearance from my past lives, it naturally also amplifies that side of my personality to a high degree. So while under the influence of an Icon, it''s not wrong to say I have multiple personalities.


    <span style="font-weight:400">That’s why the Different Kings were ring at each other earlier.


    <span style="font-weight:400">I should have been more careful before choosing to dive into the Crown Icon’s dark side. Because of me, she’s now like this…


    <span style="font-weight:400">Having grown up without a father and with a drug-addicted, abusive mother who eventually abandoned her, how could she possibly know how to be the ideal parent? Yet she tried her best, and seeded for the most part. She couldn''t be med for anything.


    <span style="font-weight:400">I sighed and closed my eyes. My hands moved to grab the nket from her hands and wrapped it around her. Then I opened my eyes and looked into her eyes, leaning down a little to meet her eye level.


    <span style="font-weight:400">“I didn''t mean all that,” I said as gently as I could. She looked subdued. She didn''t reply and gently slipped down on the couch. I was starting to really feel guilty.


    <span style="font-weight:400">‘Stupid.’


    <span style="font-weight:400">I sat down beside her on the couch, my mind racing with a multitude of thoughts.


    <span style="font-weight:400">…People might think that having lived for so long and so many different lives, it''d be hard to care for others. People will be right in thinking that. In these 15 years I lived here, how many individuals did I truly care about?


    <span style="font-weight:400">For example, Shoko Nishimiya. While I liked that girl, did I really ‘care’ about her? I am sure she''ll be hurt to know, but no, I do not. It''s just how it is. I don''t care about two out of three of my girlfriends either, but I will make an effort to change that in the uing months. I''ll try.


    <span style="font-weight:400">Beyond the three members of my Sect – Ruby, Tsubasa, and Mem – whom I make an effort to care about, amongst whom Ruby is an exception, there is only one other person. It''s this woman, and in truth, shees first before them.


    <span style="font-weight:400">I wasn''t an orphan in my first life, I had parents of my own. So in my uing life, I began to lose touch with my new parents. They just couldn''t bepared to my first parents; it was harder to think of my new parents as really ‘parents’ since I was often older than them.


    <span style="font-weight:400">All that changed in my 5th life.


    <span style="font-weight:400">This perception was shattered when I was born to a thousand-year-old vampire. She was the oldest parent I had, and she was also older than me back then. So for once it felt like I was truly being taken care of. And as it was my first life as something other than a human, she truly had to show me around the way of life like I was new at it.


    <span style="font-weight:400">She excellently fulfilled the role of a parent, a mother. Emmanuelle Knightsbane Draconia – her memories linger with me to this day, and I doubt it will ever fade.


    <span style="font-weight:400">Since my 5th life, I havee to appreciate my parents a lot more. Especially my mothers.


    <span style="font-weight:400">Though, only in this life, my 11th, did I feel so close to a mother after my 5th. And oddly enough, Ai was the opposite of my Emmanuelle. She''s young, childish, and not quite motherly for my standards. Yet, I… liked her a lot. She''s lovely.


    <span style="font-weight:400">“I''m sorry.” I''d have never apologized to a person who attacked me first, but I did. It''s her, so it''s fine. My mother can enjoy this special benefit.


    <span style="font-weight:400">“You didn''t say anything illogical though, Aqua…” she suddenly said. It seemed my words had reached deep inside her. “I am sorry, Aqua. For not being a good mother.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">‘This is not good.’


    <span style="font-weight:400">“I was judging too harshly. How would I know if you didn''t love those girls? Wasn''t it the girls who chose to be with you, when you were ready to choose one of them?” She clutched the nket and said. I saw her lips quiver. “And… I didn''t know how you learned who sent the assassin, but you were right. I justpared you with a man like that, when I should have known that… my Aqua isn''t like that. I reached a stupid conclusion and hurt you. I really am not suitable to be a mother, am I?”


    <span style="font-weight:400">Seeing tears drip down to her thighs, I pulled her to my embrace. She didn''t resist and rather buried her face into my chest. She held my shirt and sniffled, apologizing for being a failure of a mother while I was busy thinking what to say.


    <span style="font-weight:400">Kids often forget that it''s the first time for their parents in this game called life too, it''s not as if they''ve been practicing how to be a parent for hundreds of years.


    <span style="font-weight:400">However, it was different for me. I have yed the role of a son for a long time. It should fall upon me, not Ai, to lead this situation.


    <span style="font-weight:400">“I''m d you understand your mistakes,” I said as I gently pushed her away from my chest, looking into her eyes. “But that''s the only part I meant. I didn''t mean it when I said you''re a terrible mother. Like I saidst time, you''re a great guardian.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">She sniffled and rubbed her eyes, “...But not a good mother.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">“Ruby will say you''re a great mother.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">“Why do you think differently than her?”


    <span style="font-weight:400">“Because I''m… a lot older than her, my standards are skewed.” I said and she closed her mouth. Her eyes shook as she hesitated.


    <span style="font-weight:400">“What do you mean?”


    <span style="font-weight:400">“I can''t exin yet.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">Then again, should I just tell her?


    <span style="font-weight:400">No… There needs to be groundwork for this. It''s not the same as telling Mem-Cho. As my mother, she''ll be a lot more sensitive to the revtion of my reincarnation. I need to give her hints over time before I tell her.


    <span style="font-weight:400">This wouldn’t be the first time that things went wrong with my parents because I revealed my reincarnation status to them. The best-case scenario was that they kept a friendly bond with me but… they didn''t see me as their son anymore. I was just a stranger to them at that point.


    <span style="font-weight:400">The worst-case scenario was them getting mad and using me of stealing the body of their son; that I was a ghost.


    <span style="font-weight:400">Both oues would… hurt if it''s from Ai. I don''t want her to act distant with me.


    <span style="font-weight:400">So I am hoping for something else. I did mention the best scenario, but there was a sole exception to that. It was my Emmanuelle again. Though the thing is, she imed she knew from the beginning, and I''m unsure if that''s true or not. Either way, she didn''t care and loved me as much as that. No, she loved me even more because I finally opened up to her.


    <span style="font-weight:400">I''m not sure Ai would react like that. She is… too young for that. She might actually freak out. I can''t take the risk.


    <span style="font-weight:400">“That symbol-thing in the sky earlier,” Ai began suddenly, referring to the Icon as her eyes filled with uncertainty. “And your behavior, it’s almost like a split personality... What were those, Aqua?”


    <span style="font-weight:400">“Let''s drop the subject; I don''t want to discuss it,” I said firmly. Although she appeared reluctant, she sighed and acquiesced. She didn''t want to push me since she was emotionally cornered by me right now.


    <span style="font-weight:400">She nodded, “Fine.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">“Anyway, I hope you understand that I didn''t mean the negative things I told you. I just wanted you to understand that I am not my father. Don''tpare me to him. I would <i><span style="font-weight:400">never</i><span style="font-weight:400"> treat you like he did.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">To my surprise, she smiled. “I know. I got the proof of that.” She gently hugged me. “Earlier, my Aqua didn''t raise his fist against me even once, when I was attacking him harshly. On the other hand, that man almost killed me... My Aqua is a million times better.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">“Now you''re being affectionate out of the blue?” I smiled too and hugged her, my hand finding her soft back but I resisted the urge to wander.


    <span style="font-weight:400">“Can''t I show affection towards my son?” she asked in a soft, gentle tone, pushing me back onto the couch and lying on top of me. She did have the white nket covering her back, so she wasn’t entirely indecent.


    <span style="font-weight:400">“You do realize you''re naked, right?” I inquired, even while my hands moved to lock around her.


    <span style="font-weight:400">“It''s alright, my son wouldn''t do anything weird.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">“I''m… not so sure about that one,” I said and she lifted her chin, blinking at me. “What? I made it clear from before that I''m interested in you.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">She scowled deeply, “And you dared call me a bad mother when you have thoughts like this about me? Are you a good son?”


    <span style="font-weight:400">“I never said I''m a good son.” I smiled up at her yfully as she stared down at me. “I like you, mom. Go on a date with me.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">“Never.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">“You won''t listen to this simple request after you wronged me just earlier?”


    <span style="font-weight:400">“You…!” She hissed. “Are you seriously emotionally ckmailing me right now?!”


    <span style="font-weight:400">“I am just asking.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">“....”


    <span style="font-weight:400">Ai red at me while I smiled up at her. She let the re drop and sighed, poking my cheek with a finger. “Fine, I truly admit, you''re not like your father. He wasn''t into his mother.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">I blinked and crackled up, while my hand lowered to grope her. That immediately got me a head-butt on the forehead. It was very gentle though.


    <span style="font-weight:400">“...Remove your hands, Aqua.” she was blushing but unwilling to raise her voice; she looked away from my eyes.


    <span style="font-weight:400">“I''ll think about it.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">“You know, maybe you don''t think I''m a good mom <i><span style="font-weight:400">because </i><span style="font-weight:400">you simply see me as a woman instead of your mother,” she said.


    <span style="font-weight:400">“Maybe you''re right.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">“You''re not supposed to agree, I’m insulting your argument from earlier.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">“I don''t care.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">Ai grumbled. “This is Oedipus Complex, Aqua. This is not right. I''ll need you to see a psychologist.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">“No, finding your mother attractive isn''t the only rule to Oedipus Complex. I feel no sense of rivalry toward my so-called father—which is another requirement for this to be Oedipus. And stop before you point out how I hated beingpared to him, that''s different, that''s just how I am. If I did have a sense of rivalry toward him, trust me I''d have killed him by now.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">Speaking of, I should kill that bastard. He tried to kill Ai; the only reason I kept him alive until now was that simple death would be too easy for him.


    <span style="font-weight:400">Ai frowned and said nothing, while I got an idea to mess with her as revenge for her usation.


    <span style="font-weight:400">“Honestly, think about it rationally, mom. You are feeding, clothing, and raising a son for 15 years… solely so he can go and ravage another woman. All the hard work you put into your beautiful little boy – singing him lubies, taking him to sports practice, making sure he had a healthy diet to grow up big and strong, educating him, ying with him, giving him loving hugs. All of it for one result: his body is more enjoyable and ripe for the women that will eventually be fucked in every hole by him. Raised the perfect boy? Great. Who benefits? Some random bitch. Aren''t you the ultimate and final cuckquean?! Think-”


    <span style="font-weight:400">“Shut up, little punk.” She pinched my nose with an annoyed look. “I know that meme too, it wouldn’t work on me. I am not <i><span style="font-weight:400">grooming</i><span style="font-weight:400"> a perfect husband for me, you know? I am raising my son.” She looked down at me. “You see me as a woman? Fine. But I don''t see you as a man. I don''t feel anything right now, even when I''m naked andid above you. Give up.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">I smiled up at her. Her mental strength is indeed very strong, that makes this more fun. She’s so cute. She really might be a great mother at this rate, given a couple of years.


    <span style="font-weight:400">“I''m saying this just in case,” I squeezed her soft butt and watched her keep a fake, impassive mask. “But if you''re nning to get a man, a boyfriend or husband, just to throw me off, I''ll get really mad. I''ll say it now; I <i><span style="font-weight:400">will</i><span style="font-weight:400"> kill him.” I let go of her ass and grabbed her face, looking deep into her trembling purple eyes. “Keep that in mind, little Hoshino.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">Then, I pulled her into a kiss. She tried to say something but her parted lips were an opening.


    <span style="font-weight:400">She was startled, but what could she do? I vited the inside of her mouth while one of my hands held her head, and another held her tight waist. She resisted the kiss for a minute, before being forced to give in.


    <span style="font-weight:400">After ten minutes of making out, I stood up while smiling at her. “Don''t be mad, I will count this aspensation, or punishment, for the thing you pulled on me earlier. Just to let you know, if you were anyone else, they''d have met a much worse fate. See youter, <i><span style="font-weight:400">mother</i><span style="font-weight:400">.”


    <span style="font-weight:400">Saying so, I walked away with the furious re of Ai piercing my back. She wiped her lips and let out a groan, which oddly sounded like a moan.


    <span style="font-weight:400">“I''ll let you off this time, brat…”


    <span style="font-weight:400">The blushing woman shook her head from left to right to get rid of weird thoughts and to also make her body temperature go down.


    <span style="font-weight:400">She couldn’t believe this just happened.


    <span style="font-weight:400">**


    <span style="font-weight:400">**


    <span style="font-weight:400">**


    <b>.</b>


    <b>Link: /Master4thWall</b>
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